I Got My Name Back Today

by becomingbethany

I got my name back today. 

The family name I inherited from some Medieval Anglo-Saxon ancestor. The first name my parents very intentionally chose before I was born hoping I would grow into one day. The middle name that is also my mother’s middle name and my first-generation-American Italian great-grandmother’s first name. 

It feels more momentous and more hopeful than I expected it to. I feel like I got back a little piece of my identity that has been out wandering somewhere. I feel like I am coming home to a family and legacy that wants me and claims and values me. I am no longer tied by name to a family that has rejected, forgotten, and shamed me. 

It’s really all just words on a legal document (that took nine months post-divorce to finalize) but for some reason it matters. And for some reason, today I feel like celebrating. In all the recent legal documents I have had filed and stamped and notarized and returned to me, this is the first one that feels worth celebrating. So I am. I have another little piece of who I am returned to me.